*You have to construct your own burger, pasta, etc. from a menu of 50 ingredients. Be a chef already.
*Bathrooms with ambiguous male/female silhouettes. Or labels like Knights/Damsels, Dudes/Dudettes, or Caballeros/Caballeras. Dios mio! My bladder is exploding.
*They display a yellowed award that is over ten years old.
*A place called Prometheus' Buffet where an eagle eats your liver – every day. Caveat emptor. Any restaurant named Caveat Emptor should also be avoided. (Don't worry the Latin/art history part is over). ...
*The valet is a dude with this cardboard sign, "Will park car 4 leftovers."
*Waitresses in black uniforms that resemble retro morgue attendants.
*Menus with food stains. No scratch & sniff.
*The chef is sitting at the bar doing shots of Jaegermeister with the dishwasher. Ditto for mumblety-peg.
*Photos of the owner and family with washed up minor celebs.
*The chef has a tattoo ... of Anthony Bourdain ... on his neck ... shooting up.
*Three words: Day old sushi.
*The "sommelier" parked your car.
*Your waitress is named Fajita and when you order the "Sizzling Fajita," she says, "Ooooh yeah" and blots her lipstick.
From the Baltimore Sun
- Is There Any Food We Can Eat?
- 17 Reasons To Allow Drinking At Work
- 13 Things Your Waiter Won't Tell You
- Bacteria On My Lemon Slice