Reasons why banquet managers don't like them:They do nothing but bitch.
They are always looking at their watch, trying to measure how minutes the food is late.
The intentionally give incomplete info on when the group REALLY is going to break for lunch.
They always have 18 or 19 boxes that need to be shipped-out at the end of the event.
They need a podium in way too many rooms.
They need all the food labeled (what a pain in the ass).
They want whole milk, half & half, skim & even soy milk...WTF!
They want an easel for every breakout room, every buffet line, and to direct their attendees (I guess 'cause they're so f'ing stupid).
They always need to have the "pre-con" on Sunday morning at 10 f'ing o'clock! --- Screw you bitch!
They always wait until we put all the pens and pads out on 14 different breakout room to then say, "Oh I forgot to tell you...we have our own pads and pens". I could kill her.
They want photo copies of everything everyday.
Flipcharts, flipcharts everywhere!
They continually walk into "back-of-the-house areas (I hope you slip and fall on your ass next time).
And the worst of all......they're always so damm ugly!
I could go on and on but I getting pissed-off just thinking about them so I've got to go...
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13 comments:
I guess if they were prettier they could be more tolerable.
I'm not a meeting planner myself, but I work conferences and smaller meetings as part of my job. I totally sympathize, and would like to add that sadly, the attendees really are that stupid. No amount of idiot-proofing has ever been enough. (Btw, this is my first comment, but I really like your blog!)
Waiter Extra,
Sad but true, beauty would help.
Anonymous,
Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.
ah haha you're so pissed. Perhaps it's time to look for a new job man?
When you start thinking your customer is a pain you seriously need to look for a new career.
I remember at one point working for a coffee company if the customer didn't order, hand me the money correctly and leave the way they should or as designated I would be pissed. Sometimes we forget that they are not told how to do anything , they are our customer, they are our business.
Also they have other people to impress shit rolls down his and as a Banquet Manager you have to expect all the shit remains on you.
Thanks for your blog. I enjoy reading them..:)
Meeting planners.
Heh heh heh.
Had a few of those come through on my watch.
Some were unobtrusive. Little pencil necked lap dogs with designer eyeglasses eager to serve their masters.
Some weren't but still annoying because they overcommunicated to the point of condescension even when I knew what they needed before they realized they needed it. I was usually ready for their 'surprises'.
I didn't have much respect for them.
They are like mortgage brokers.
Just another layer of fat the client has to pay for.
They are incentivised to appear to make a difference in order to justify their fees.
So they have to find something, anything, wrong with your performance.
Or at the very least, solve some dire problem like a hero at the last minute. Always being seen to be proactive by the client. It took a little wind out of their sails when I'd tell them that I'd already considered the potential problem, taken the steps to fix it and that I was just waiting for them to request it so I could add it to their bill.
The worst, though, were those conferences that were put out to bid for an all in price.
Sales would shave the banquet profit margin to the bone because they also got a cut of the hotel room revenue in their bonus structure. In effect the banquet department was subsidising the front desk as well as sales. And never any recognition of that fact. It's not like the attendees would have had a reason to stay in the hotel if not for the meetings in banquets.
The clients, once they arrived, would always be surprised that negotiating intineraries and requirements is impossible to do through three layers of people and start rewriting their contracts on the spot at the still all in price.
Luckily, when we started doing these things often, I had already decided that I was leaving.
I think they got better service because I didn't give a fuck by that time.
Just get out of there with as few complaints as possible and skate back to school with as little friction as I could.
That was back when I'd considered continuing to work there while I went to school.
After much thought, and a great thing called the student line of credit, I concluded that was a bad idea.
For three reasons.
First, I needed all of my time and energy to study and take care of my family.
Second, this was my last shot at school so I didn't need some built in excuse for failure. I didn't want to justify marks that were below my ability because I had to work instead of study. All or nothing.
Third, the bullying front desk manager had gone to school years ago when she was single and ended up dropping out to continue working in the only job she will ever know. (Many patients will never know her as a Nurse Ratched, so that is a blessing for some, and not for others.) I was determined to work hard and succeed so I could throw it in her face. Not literally. I didn't have to say a word. Graduation and a new career were all she needed to hear about.
So, I burned that bridge, more like singed it. But still had no way of ever going back.
And people there now know it is possible, if they feel trapped, to go back to school and change their lives if they want to.
I don't know how many would.
Most of the people I worked with over the years, if they were past a certain age and not in school, got that weary look that comes from settling for their lot in life. I know because the eyes I used to see looking back at me in the mirror used to have that droopy horrified silent scream you'd imagine you'd have if you woke up during surgery.
And the older they were the sadder they appeared as the years of indignities wore them down further.
I had that look during the seemingly hopeless years, before I got tired of turning the anger inward and drowning it in alcohol.
Once I knew I was out the year I needed to get it together was easier than all the previous years I had worked before.
It's most satisfying at work when I make an urn of coffee in the morning to pass it on to my coworkers who left coffee for me.
I know that I am making just one urn for myself, mainly.
And I think of all those many thousands of gallons of coffee I have made before.
Glad that I am not the poor fucker who has my old job.
Knowing where he is at eight am, running around, checking that coffee breaks are out on time, running for that flipchart or screen that was sure to be ordered. (I knew it!)
Knowing exactly what he is doing today hour by hour.
And knowing that I, after pouring two sugars, no cream, into my oversized travel mug and pondering my larger waistline, that I can go to my desk, read my emails and resume working on the project I had left the night before I realized that I should go home and kiss my kids goodnight.
I never ever lost track of time working banquets.
And now I do all the time.
Anonymous,
Wow...
Hey, Banquet Manager, you know it is Dance... by now.
I'm just too lazy to sign in some-most-times.
I apologise if I'm over the top when I post.
I spent twenty five years in banquets.
From fourteen to thirty nine.
I tried to get my life off the ground when I was in my twenties.
And I failed.
So, I fell into banquets wherever I could catch on.
I worked as hard as I could to be the best that I was in my new career.
And eventually I became a banquet manager.
And life was good for awhile.
But it wasn't gonna get any better.
And I accepted that for awhile, too.
It was when they started throwing me under the bus and threatening my livelihood, and my ability to feed my kids that I started thinking about somewhere and something else.
I could have stayed there forever if I was forever willing to eat their shit.
I could have retired there even if...
But I don't see many sixty five year old banquet managers.
Or heroin addicts that old, either.
And you have to work that line between sales and banquets for about five years at an extra ten to twenty hours a week to get that office.
And if I was going to spend that next five to ten years at an extra fifteen hours per week...
Fuck them.
I would still be chasing the carrot on that stick.
And my kids would hate me in the end while I was working nights and evenings and weekends.mydri
Yeah Dance Dance, welcome back.
Great blog..I spent 10+ years as a Supervisor/Captain/Manager in Hotels - Banquets as well as Restaurants, and another 10 working for independent and chain restaurants...Then I made the best decision of my life - I got out....Trust me people, the quality of your life will increase 10 fold the second you walk out that door...Stop breaking your balls and mentally fucking your self to increase the quality of somebody elses day at the expense of your own...Nobody is ever truly grateful for what you do anyway. Not the people you are working with, and certainly not the people you are working for. Dont walk away, RUN - and never look back. It will be the best decision you ever made.
I hear your concerns and am sorry that the meeting planning industry has not changed to meet your needs. I'd like to order some nachos, change the room set-up to a hollow square and have my boxes delivered to center of the hollow square. I'll call you during the break so you can crawl under the tables and pass out my materials to all the attendees. Oh and one more thing, do you think I can have a complimentary internet password so I can check my e-mail. Thanks again for your assistance.
Best,
Your Meeting Planner
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