Sure, it looked like a glamorous position when you attended your friend's wedding last month. Watching the banquet manager, or maitre d’, escorting the bride & groom into the room, then directing his waiters in serving the food, then later even taking center stage during the cake cutting ceremony, seemed like a cool job. You even thought, hey, I would like to do that. Now it's time to tell you the truth!
So I'll just hop over to that hotel lounge on Saturday night, have a few beers, then around 10:30pm try and sneak into a $40,000 wedding for some people that I don't even know. Yeah, that's a good plan...
What the hell goes through these people's minds? An entire room full of people all dressed up and your sorry ass thinks that you can walk into the ballroom with a pair of brown loafers, blue jeans and a blue plaid sportcoat. And I won't notice you? Listen, I've been doing this too long and can spot a wedding crasher a mile away.
Then you also are holding a pilsner glass full of beer that you got from our lounge bar. And I won't notice you?
Then your wife/girlfriend is wearing a yellow and green sundress with sandals. And I won't notice you?
Then you stand against the wall just inside the ballroom doors for around 3 minutes before you gather-up enough nerve to make your way to the dancefloor. And I won't notice you?
Then when I walk over to you and start to escort your sorry-ass out the door you have the nerve to try to convince me that you belong here and are a guest of the wedding?
Hit the road you losers!
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