The Room Was Setup Perfectly...

A lousy corporate meeting for 68 people.  Setup was classroom style for 72.  4 Flipcharts, LCD projector, screen, podium and tabletop microphone.  

We set the room up fully based on the diagram that was provided by the customer and faxed to my sales chick.  

Yeah I know.  Once the sales chick gets involved something is bound to be f*^#ed-up. 

Hey, but I've got a diagram, can't be a problem.

We set the room late Monday night perfect as can be.  Next came all the black duct tape, gotta make the LCD cord look sharp, a nice straight line to the podium.

Left late Monday feeling good about the next day.  Should be a piece of cake, room is good to go.  NOT!!!!!!!!!

When I came in Tuesday the dumb-ass group contact tells me that the room is setup wrong.  WTF!  I've got a diagram.  I take my copies of the BEO's outta my pocket and show her the diagram that was sent to us.

"Sorry, that looks like the diagram from the meeting we had at the Marriott downtown last month.  My secretary made these arrangements, not me", she said.  "I need this room setup for crescent rounds", was next.

I wanted to strangle someone, and this time I can't even blame our sales chick!

Oh, by the way...did I mention that my morning houseman called out sick this day?  I heard his voicemail when I came in at 6:30am.

Now I'm pulling the dishwasher from the kitchen along with the overnight housekeeper that was planning to leave at 8am when the next shift was scheduled to come in.

The three of us start flipping the room to the "correct" setup.  Then sales chick comes in, followed shortly by the in-house a/v tech.  Now we have 5 pissed-off people moving tables, chairs, ripping up the duct taped LCD cord, picking up the pens & pads from the floor.  The whole shit-show.

Well, 45 minutes later, 5 pissed-off people and one ripped shirt (the sales chick, HA!) and we got it done.

Another shit start of the day.  The kitchen better not short change me on the food today...  The banquet manager is not happy today.

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How Was My Valentine's Weekend?

We did a big Valentine's Day dinner on Saturday night for almost 200 people.  Open to the public but with reservations a must.  Here's how it went. 

• Rented red napkins were never delivered (BITCH!)
• Wrinkled linen, spent almost 2 hours ironing (I hate this shit)
• 2 late waiters (they heard it from me)
• 4 no show reservations, 11 people total (gotta charge their asses)
• Kitchen timing could have been better, they couldn't keep up with us
• The sorbet intermezzo was melted, kitchen didn't bother to make sure it was placed in the kitchen with enough time to freeze well (a**holes)
• 6 people wanted a vegetarian meal, and 1 vegan, even though we advertised the menu on our website and in all our print paperwork (jerks, just eat the damm steak!)
• Didn't have enough of an expensive wine that some bigshot wanted (still sold him 3 bottles anyway)
• One lady was so pretty that my guy waiters went gaga over her (reminded me of the bride we had last year with the BIG BOOBS)
• Room Service was slammed and tried to steal some of our B&B plates (yeah, BITE ME)
• Band wanted to eat when they felt like it (no, you eat when I tell you it's time to take a break)
• Special dessert that the chef planned to sit high on the plate kept falling over (he was pissed off but did the best he could to fix it) 
• People left very happy (especially the 5 different couples that asked for their dessert "to-go")

Guess they couldn't wait to get to their hotel room...

How was your day?

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Food Trivia #4 Answers

Ok, I know all of you couldn't sleep the last few days without knowing the answers to this quiz.  So here they are...

1. On what vegetable did an ancient Egyptian place his right hand when taking an oath? A: The onion.  Its round shape symbolized eternity.
2. How many flowers are in the design stamped on each side of an Oreo cookie? A: Twelve. Each has four petals.
3. Black-eyed peas are not peas.  What are they? A: Beans
4. What European nation consumes more spicy Mexican food than any other? A: Norway
5. What part of the banana is used to make banana oil? A: No part.  Banana oil, a synthetic compound made with amyl alcohol, is named for its banana-like aroma. 
6. Under what name did the Domino's Pizza chain get its start? A: DomNick's
7. What was margarine called when it was first marketed in England? A: Butterine
8. What are the two top selling spices in the world? A: Pepper is 1st and mustard is second.
9. What was the name of Cheerios when it was first marketed 50 years ago? A: Cheerioats
10. What is the most widely eaten fish in the world? A: The Herring
11. What is the name of the evergreen shrub from which we get capers? A: The caper bush.
12. What fruits were crossed to produce the nectarine? A: None.  The nectarine is a smooth skinned variety of the peach.
13. What animals milk is used to make authentic Italian mozzarella cheese? A: The water buffalo's. 

So how many did you get right?

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Food Trivia Quiz #4

1. On what vegetable did an ancient Egyptian place his right hand when taking an oath?
2. How many flowers are in the design stamped on each side of an Oreo cookie?
3. Black-eyed peas are not peas.  What are they?
4. What European nation consumes more spicy Mexican food than any other?
5. What part of the banana is used to make banana oil?
6. Under what name did the Domino's Pizza chain get its start? 
7. What was margarine called when it was first marketed in England?
8. What are the two top selling spices in the world?
9. What was the name of Cheerios when it was first marketed 50 years ago?
10. What is the most widely eaten fish in the world?
11. What is the name of the evergreen shrub from which we get capers?
12. What fruits were crossed to produce the nectarine?
13. What animals milk is used to make authentic Italian mozzarella cheese?

 Next Post: The Answers

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Vegan...Yeah My Ass!

Another thing the banquet manager can't stand...

"Do you have a vegan meal?
"I told Sales Chick I needed 2 vegan meals, didn't you get that information?"
"What are you preparing for my vegan meal?"

What's with this bullshit?  When I was a kid you ate what was on your plate, or your ass sat at the dining room table until the sun came up the next morning.  We wouldn't dream of asking our parents to cook up something different just because "we didn't like that" or "it wasn't good for us".  I was ALWAYS good for us! 

Well apparently parents turned into some limp-wristed pansies years ago and would coddle little Johnny or Mary and let them eat what they wanted.  'Cause beef is BAD!  It may kill us or it leads to heart disease or any other bullshit you hear on the nightly news.

So then many of the attendees at my hotels meetings over the years started to want a vegetarian meal.  Jerks!

Then there was different kinds of vegetarians:

• some eat fish but no beef
• some eat chicken for the protein
• some won't eat any meat but will eat eggs
• some add extra beans and shit to their salad
• some just pop handfulls of vitamins into their now beef-free mouths just so they don't shrivel-up and die.

Then some wackjob decided that any product made from an animal, any animal, was not good enough to eat.  What the hell would you have done if you were a caveman?  Just eat fava beans?  Get your ass outta the cave and bite into a dinosaur or something (yeah I know, man wasn't around with the dinosaurs so don't give me shit).

So now we banquet managers get requests for Kosher meals, low-fat meals, low-carb meals, skim milk, soy milk, Halal food, 3 kinds of vegetarian dishes (some with pasta some just with grilled veggies).  Enough man...

Then there is all the "nut-free" dishes that must be prepared without any cross contamination, or any nut dust in the air or other shit like that.  

This is a banquet event people.  We cook for a lot of people all at the same time.  You're not going to a private house party for 8 people where the host has all day to prepare your special meal.  If you have all these special needs, then maybe it's YOUR responsibility to bring your OWN food for you to eat.  Just like our mom did when we were in the 4th grade.

Knock this shit off already!

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No Memphis For Me!

Sometimes you get lucky.  I know I bitched last week about all the friggin' snow.  Now there's ice everywhere.  I heard on the news that there was a 2000 mile path of snow and ice.  

Well, it helped me this time.  Since all the flights are canceled and snow is messing up half the country, I'm stuck here and will not have to go to Memphis.  What a shame...

Hee hee.

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