Banquet Staff...a Strange Bunch

Don't you get tired of listening to the B.S. you get from the typical banquet waiter?

The same lame excuses, or justifications as to why they didn't do something, why they're unhappy or why they didn't make enough money. I thought I would list a few for you. See if you ever heard any of these...

• I forgot I was on the schedule.
• Frankie said he was going to pick me up, it's not MY fault I'm late.
  
• I thought she WANTED the fish!
• Esteban's my partner. He was in charge of the coffee!
• I can't find any more tongs!
  
• You don't care about us!
• Where's my wine key? How should I know there was wine with this dinner?
  
• Why do I always get mopping the floor as my closing assignment?
• You always give me the tables in the back!
  
• There's no clean silverware!
• I'm gonna talk to the G.M.
  
• Didn't Maria tell you we switched our shifts?
• How many vacation days do I have left?
• But it's only a small stain...
• You can't change my schedule like that. I'm calling the union!
• I left my shoes in Jose's car yesterday. But at least these sneakers are black...
• But I have more seniority!
• I couldn't find the Equal.
  
• I'm not staying unless you make Sonya stay too!
• There's was only a few people left. I thought the chaffer had enough food...
• Vanessa's talking crap about me. You gotta tell her to stop!
  
• I thought I was supposed to come in at 3pm.
• I didn't see the water on the floor!
  
• But Heather (the sales manager) said it was ok to shut down the buffet.
• You can't write me up for THAT!
• Don't blame me. I didn't take any napkins from the restaurant!
• That's not my problem, you gotta pay me on the regular price!
  
• I forgot my uniform at home.
• I forgot my name badge at home.
• I forgot my brain at home...

I need a REAL job!

Readers Comments

This blog is only 2 months old and so far the response has been fantastic. I wanted to take the time to not only thank you but to post a few comments here from some of our readers.

With your help, we can make this blog THE place on the web for banquet managers and anyone in our related field. With that as my goal, I will keep on sharing my stories with you (also, with the never ending B.S. we deal with each day, I’ll have plenty to write about!)

Please support us by adding your comments, bookmark this page, email a post to a friend, subscribe to my RSS feed, tell your assistant banquet manager, phone your grandma…

You get the idea. Thanks.


Amy said on April 13th:
Hey – thanks for the nice plug –
I know there are planners out there who are unqualified boneheads who no doubt make your job more difficult, but as you can tell from my postings, I am your biggest cheerleader – I think banquet staff and mangers are overworked and under-appreciated so my approach is to pitch in and help every chance I can.

I’ll look forward to reading future blogs and will write one about you in the near future.

Thanks again –
Amy Rubins
Fête Perfection, LLC
952-929-4281
www.feteperfection.com www.feteperfection.com/blog

Anonymous said on April 27th:
I am training to be a banquet manager. It is a fun, labor-intensive, "people" job. My favorite part is working with the staff of 15 servers. So many characters! Whether you work holidays depends on what kind of property you work at? No Business = No Need to be here. Managing the execution of all events & functions is sometimes gruesome, always interesting. Yeah it gets challenging at times but no pain, no gain. Work Hard > Live Well

Anonymous said on April 30th:
Great Blog . Funny & TRUE. LOL @ " I gotta get a real job"

Julie said on May 9th:
It takes an extremely dedicated person to work in F&B at a hotel and I give you so much credit! The long hours, evenings, weekends -- I don't know how you do it!!! I am back in the office world now, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to try it out, otherwise I would have never known! Keep up the great work --- Banquet Managers are the unsung heroes of the hotel industry.

Anonymous said on May 15th:
I started out as a restaurant server and then served banquets for 6 years before taking a $18,000 paycut to be the 'restaurant supervisor' at my hotel. Restaurant servers cannot hold a candle to banquet servers- they can haul crap and take crap from anyone - as long as its followed by shots at the local watering hole right before last call.

Anonymous said on May 18th:
I need YOU as a Banquet Manager!! I am a Food & Beverage Director and I'm dealing with a Banquet Manager who fell into her position before I arrived. She is the most unprofessional manager that I have ever met. The staff has no respect for her at all! I have been trying to have the staff take things up a couple of notches and she gets really defensive about it. She has also decided she only wants to work 8-4 everyday ! I am about ready to pull my own hair out!! I NEED PROFESSIONAL PEOPLE WORKING FOR ME!!

Anonymous said on May 19th:
thanks a lot for the tips man, its appreciated.
I checked out your blog. Gotta say it gave me a chuckle, you remind me fully of my maitre de. I know I'm spelling it wrong, after all I'm only a banquet waiter ;)
thanks again

Juliet said on May 21st:
Your blog is hilarious and I can totally relate! Thank you for the link! I didn’t expect it but it is much appreciated!

Juliet Douglas
Distinguished Graduate, Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC)
Green Orchid Events, LLC
T. 702.373.7045
F. 702.949.0764
http://www.greenorchidevents.com

Andrew D said on May 22nd:
I have spent 10 years working in the Hospitality industry, much of it as an operations based manager. In my five years as a food and beverage manager I struggled with a lot of the behavioral issues that the author brought up.

To help break the barriers and reduce the attitudes, I would often hire waiters (regardless of whether they were restaurant or banquet waiters) and tell them, during the hiring process that there was potential that they would work some shifts in either department.

What this did was even the attitudes the author brought up. We ended up with more well rounded staff that seemed to have a much better attitude and lived the team work culture we were trying to create. There was not as much us/them (banquets vs. restaurant).

Made it easier for staffing too, especially for those banquet "peaks" that I am sure everyone is aware of...

Andrew Desilets
President and CEO
Canadian Hospitality Recruiters
www.CHrecruiters.com

Thanks again to everyone.

National Waiter and Waitress Day

…are they kidding?

This is a great country for so many more reasons than I could ever name, especially here. We celebrate political, religious, cultural and sexual diversity in every form. We even go so far as to name a “special day” after various types of people to remember and commemorate them.

We have the normal days:

• Presidents Day
• Mothers Day
• Fathers Day
• Grandparents Day
• D-Day
• Independence Day
• Flag Day
• All Saints Day
• Veterans Day
• Thanksgiving Day
• New Years Day

Then we have the “cute” days:

• Groundhog’s Day
• Girl Scout Day
• April Fools Day
• Administrative Professionals Day (give me a break!)
• Beautician’s Day
• Take Your Son or Daughter to Work Day
• Forgot Day (I forgot that one)
• Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Day
• National S’mores Day
• Left Hander’s Day

Now guess what the brain trust of the country came up with?

Drum roll please………..

it's...

The National Waiter and Waitress Day! (May 21)

WHAT! You have got to be kidding!

I have an idea for a day to celebrate waiters and waitresses. How about a few of these winners:

• Get your butt to work on time day
• Wear a clean uniform day
• Take off those gangster earrings day
• Get the order correct day
• Don’t let the buffet run out of food day
• Serve from the left and clear from the right day
• Offer them a second cup of coffee day
• Stop complaining day
• Do your closing side-work before you go home day
• Punch-out for your shift day

I can go on forever…

I need a REAL job!

Dinner in The Sky

You have got to see this!

I just got home from work and wanted to burn off some steam before going to sleep (those f@*^! waiters again). Anyway, I started surfing the web and came across the craziest thing I ever saw. A company called "Dinner in the Sky" that serves you breakfast, lunch or dinner at a table seating up to 22 people, suspended over 150 feet in the air from a crane!
WHAT THE F...!!!

Listen, right now I'm too tired to explain it very well and can't do it justice. But I had to tell you about it. Just go the the website - http://www.dinnerinthesky.com and check it out.

Click here to see a slideshow of various images from events held in different countries -
http://www.dinnerinthesky.com/slideshow.php

You know that I usually sign-off my posts with "I need a REAL job" but hell, I don't want to be the banquet manager in this thing!


Who's got the walnuts to work there? Come on, let me know.

Restaurant Waiters -vs.- Banquet Waiters

…who’s better?

In addition to my banquet experience, I have also managed a fine dining restaurant. I have seen both the good and bad in both kinds of waiters. Here’s how I rate each.

Banquet Waiters

• Basically lazy.
• They want to do the least amount of work and get the highest tips possible.
• They will do everything they can to cover-up a stain or hole in a tablecloth instead of changing the linen. (see above)
• Very stubborn.
• They think they know the business better than the manager.
• They only thing they really know is how to piss off the manager!
• Never has a clean uniform on.
• Unwilling to change.
• Just because they have done something a certain way for the past 15 years, they think that’s the only acceptable way to do it.

(I love to rock their world with this one. Change is my middle name.)

• Can carry a tray of 10.
• Wouldn’t know what loose tea service is if their life depended on it.
• A bunch of prima donnas!
• They’ll bitch and moan about the slightest thing. Enough said.
• You need to constantly monitor the basic things:
• Serve from the left, clear from the right
• Refill water/wine glasses
• Refold the damm napkins!
• Remove the salt & pepper shakers after the entrée is cleared
• I hate it when the s&p is left on the table when dessert is served

Restaurant Waiters

• Not usually as lazy as most banquet waiters.
• Very stubborn also.
• They REALLY think they know the business better than the manager.
• Pompous asses. (see above listing)
• Can’t carry a tray of 10.
• Should know what loose tea service is if their life depended on it.
• Usually has a clean uniform on - only because senior management gives them new uniforms more frequently than the banquet waiters.
• From my experience, they are a little more willing to change how they provide service, especially if it will increase their tips!
• REALLY, a bunch of prima donnas!
• They don’t want to wait on a table with many kids because the bill is lower with the reduced kids meal prices
• They don’t want to wait on a table of Europeans because they don’t usually tip very well.
• If the night is slow they will argue with the manager about who should be allowed to go home early first.
• They always bitch about whose section the “good customer” should have been seated in.

You know, I need to stop this @#>%* posting right now because I’m starting to think of about 50 more things that I can’t stand about all of them! Ok, ok, I’ll take a deep breath…

Listen, I try to give the benefit of the doubt to both groups but I need to side with my banquet waiters. They can be a pain in the b@#^ most times but when you need to make a tight room turn, they always come through. An a la carte/restaurant waiter couldn’t turn a room if it was on fire…

I gotta get a real job...

Post a comment below and tell me who’s better; Banquet waiters or Restaurant waiters.

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