Monday, August 30, 2010

Get a Workout at the Gym Then Have a Shot of Vodka

The banquet manager just came across this story on the internet and thought you may like it...


“Sweat and alcohol are both great social lubricants,” said David Barton, founder of the David Barton Gym. So in a move that might seem silly or inevitable, depending on your point of view, he has combined them.

The gym chain became a watering hole at its locations in Chicago, Miami and New York when it started hosting cocktail hours after its intense boot camp training classes.

They are sponsored by the Swedish vodka brand Svedka throughout August and are meant to tie in with the brand’s “RU Bot Or Not?” ad campaign that features a female robot with proportions Barbie would envy.

“I want people to find the gym not just a place to work out, but a good hang as well,” Mr. Barton said.

After the trainer-led group exercise classes, customers can take off their sweaty socks and trade their usual smoothies with scoops of protein powder for cocktails made with clementine-flavored vodka, orange juice, sour mix and fresh mint.

“It’s a little weird to serve bourbon or Scotch,” Mr. Barton said of why he chose vodka. “Tequila might seem out of control. Vodka seems like the right complement to the gym.”


Any liquor, however, is an impediment to achieving the Barton gym’s mantra to “look better naked.” A shot has around 100 calories, which takes about a mile of running to burn off.

Mr. Barton said he doesn’t mind that it seems hypocritical to tempt his members with a drink that’s not as healthy as water, the alcohol equivalent of the candy bowls scattered around the set of “The Biggest Loser.”

“It’s better to work out and drink than to not work out and drink,” he said. “Our members have intense lives, and some people party and that’s all the more need to work out. I’m not pushing alcohol, but I’m not a prohibitionist.”
Mr. Barton himself, however, follows a strict diet and conceded, “I’m not a big drinker.”

Jane Barratt, president of Young & Rubicam New York, who said that she had one of the best drinks of her life after she finished the New York City Marathon, commented of the drinks events, “You can blame your wobbly legs on the cardio and not the alcohol.”

Mr. Barton said that despite the Svedka campaign’s futuristic theme, the classes aren’t different from the gym’s usual offerings, other than that you’ll be doing bicep curls to the Jackson 5’s “Dancing Machine,” which popularized the robot dance style.

Link to original article.


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Thursday, August 26, 2010

A Day in the Life of a Coffee Break Waiter

3:45am, the alarm goes off.  He drags his still-sleeping body outta the bed and slumps into the shower.  A quick shave and his uniform is on and he's pulling his car out of the parking spot down the block.  Now he's off to work for his 6:00am coffee break on this quiet Tuesday morning.   

Carlo arrives at the hotel at 5:00am, grabs the BEO that I left for him last night, and heads to the coffee machine.  You see, any good coffee break waiter will always start making the coffee first then go on to gather-up the other items he needs for the break.  

BEO says 14 people continental breakfast, 6:00am start until 8:00am.  Meeting starts at 8:00am until 12 noon then they're gone.  By 5:45am all is setup.  Carlo is the best one I have.  He's never late and can setup a coffee station quicker than anyone I've ever worked with.  He can do magic in 45 minutes.  This is why I scheduled him on my day off...I know he will take care of it with no issues.

Now it's 6:30am and no one has arrived.  Carlo thinks maybe the time on the BEO is wrong and maybe it's not supposed to start until 6:30am.  He knew this was an early start but for a half-day meeting it sometimes happens.  He's a little pissed off but can't do anything now but wait.

At 7:00am still no one.  Carlo goes to see the infamous Sales Chick to see if she knows anything about the group.  She's not in her office.  That's strange.  Sales chick is a major dingbat but she's is always here at least by 7:00am, especially when she has a group inhouse.

My best coffee break waiter now heads back to the room to see if anyone has finally arrived.  Nothing, just an empty room.  7:30am passes, then 8:00am and still nothing.  Carlo has been up from 3:45am for this shit?

Then finally around 8:15am he sees the Director of Sales walking in with her usual Duncan Donuts coffee cup and her hair all a mess (that's another story).  Carlo fills in the DOS (Director of Sales) about his problem and wants to know if this group is coming in.

The DOS says "I don't know anything about this group".  "Well, where is Sales Chick" Carlo says.  "She's off today" the DOS says.  "But I guess I can call Sales Chick later to see what she knows about this".  Now Carlo is about to flip out but he's too nice to do that.  But he does get his point across to the DOS that she better call up the Sales Chick now and wake her ass up to find out what the hell is going on with this group.

Now for the best part of this story...

When the DOS gets in touch with dopey Sales Chick (around 8:40am), she has the balls to say that the group was only tentative and that they never sent back the signed contract.  The event is not going to happen.

Not going to happen?  Apparently Carlo almost jumped through the phone to kick the crap outta Sales Chick.  That bitch is still home in her pajamas and fuzzy slippers but Carlo had to wake his ass up at 3:45am just for a 14 person coffee break that is "not going to happen".

The DOS now says the usual apologies and says that she will get to the bottom of this, but we all know better.  This is the same crap that happens all the time with the Sales Department.  They can screw things up time after time but the operational staff must always pay the price.

Now Carlo must breakdown this never-gonna-happen coffee break and head back home.  And what did he get for this?  Less than minimum wage and lots of heartburn.

So you wanna be a coffee break waiter?


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Monday, August 23, 2010

Where's The Friggin' Show Plates?

This past Saturday's wedding went off without a hitch but it was a real pain in the butt.    We had to put out 3 different favors per guest, 2 at each place setting and then one at the end of the night on the outside placecard table. 

Then there was the candy station to setup, 11 different glass jars of various sizes.  This had a big note from the bride to make sure that we alternated the colors of the candy so there weren't all the red or brown colors together.  Way too anal for me...

There was special meals galore.  Who's a vegetarian, a vegan, lactose intolerant, this one can't have sugar.  Just sit your ass down and have your meal man!

Then there was rented chairs, overlays, napkins, glasses, show plates...wait where's the showplates?  

We're running around looking for them on the loading dock, in the storeroom, in Sales Chick's office, the coatroom and nothing.  I didn't bother to call the rental company 'cause they're closed on Sunday and it's too late to do anything about it now.

Long story short, we wind up using our show plates since ours are gold too (we got lucky with that one).  The pattern didn't match of course but what choice did I have?

Then we hope that between the napkin fold and menu card and all the other crap on the table, our bride wouldn't notice.

Now it's almost midnight and nothing was said about the showplates.  Of course they were only down until just before the entree was served but that was too long for us to wait for the bomb to drop.  And it never did.  GREAT news!

Now all the guests are leaving the party and I'm helping my captain get all the bride's gifts, leftover place cards, cake knife, etc. on a cart for him to take to her suite.  I say my goodbyes to the B&G then I go back to my office for some last minute paperwork and a cup of coffee for the ride home.

As I'm about to leave my captain returns from the brides suite and says, "She's pissed that we didn't have the right showplates".  What! She did notice it after all and just said something now?  Then he says, "She didn't want to make a big scene during her wedding but she WILL be calling up Sales Chick to complain when she returns from her honeymoon.


Little does she know that Sales Chick was the one that ordered the showplates.  We'll see how this plays-out in a few weeks...

Next Post: A Day in the Life of a Coffee Break Waiter
 
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Sunday, August 22, 2010

HS Renuion - 400 People - No Beer

400 now middle-aged ex-high schoolers all trying to impress their old schools chums at their 30 year reunion last night.  Around 10:30pm we ran outta Coors Lite.  It turned into an ugly site since all they had was a beer & wine bar.  Friggin' purchaser, screwed-up the beer order again.   

I guess now their old high school flame won't look as pretty as they once remembered.  The beer would have helped though... 

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

July Comments

Sooo...I know you could never say ...but I wish I knew where you worked.  I work in a very very similar place....sometimes I swear you're sitting in the office next to me, watching the same crap that I do!
That's why being a banquet manager is such a pain in the ass.
If any other department fucks up their assignments it's up to you on the front line to save the day.
And then the GM will say all's well that ends well.

Anonymous said on Why is There a Dog Here:
I'm pretty sure if the couple is spending 35K on a wedding their dog doesn't have any flees.

Last week, a few hours after a day-long corporate meeting: a dude waves me down, tells me he left his extremely important, job-depends-on-it planner in the room that afternoon, and now it's gone. I gave him the "maybe one of your coworkers took it with them to give to you" schpiel, all the while thinking, if it was so damn important, WHY DID YOU FORGET IT? Ugh.

Does every housekeeping department have a Maria in it?  Is it part of the starter kit? Sheets? Check. Soap? Check. Maria? Check. You want a doctor or lawyer for a daughter? Don't name her Maria.

Ms. Attitude said on The Hotel Bill:
That is so funny! But I know things like this probably happen all the time.


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Monday, August 16, 2010

Jerk Wedding Crashers

So I'll just hop over to that hotel lounge on Saturday night, have a few beers, then around 10:30pm try and sneak into a $40,000 wedding for some people that I don't even know.  Yeah, that's a good plan...

What the hell goes through these people's minds?  An entire room full of people all dressed up and your sorry ass thinks that you can walk into the ballroom with a pair of brown loafers, blue jeans and a blue plaid sportcoat.  And I won't notice you?  Listen, I've been doing this too long and can spot a wedding crasher a mile away.

Then you also are holding a pilsner glass full of beer that you got from our lounge bar.  And I won't notice you?

Then your wife/girlfriend is wearing a yellow and green sundress with sandals.  And I won't notice you?  

Then you stand against the wall just inside the ballroom doors for around 3 minutes before you gather-up enough nerve to make your way to the dancefloor.  And I won't notice you?

Then when I walk over to you and start to escort your sorry-ass out the door you have the nerve to try to convince me that you belong here and are a guest of the wedding?


Hit the road you losers!


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Thursday, August 12, 2010

What Would The Octopus Say About This?

Have you heard about the octopus in Germany named Paul that picked the outcome on the World Cup soccer matches?

Now there's Loki the octopus in Minnesota that thinks Bret Farve is finally going to retire from football.  I think I need an octopus to predict some of these things...

  • Will my waiters ever properly clean up the storeroom after their shift?
  • Will the dopey chef ever give me enough back-up food for those large buffets that we always seem to do?
  • Will our infamous Sales Chick ever get a BEO right?  
  • Will the restaurant waiters stop stealing my department's sugar caddies?
  • Should I finally fire that lazy-ass waiter that can't ever seem to come in on time?
  • Will my Housekeeping Department ever get the stains out of our white napkins?
  • Will HR stop calling on my staff on the busiest day of the month to pull that "random drug screening bullshit?
  • Will the big boss ever give our department the benefit of the doubt when it comes to a nasty and unreasonable customer complaint?
If an octopus can predict these things then bring him over.  If not, then put his ass in the pot and cut this shit out already!



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Monday, August 9, 2010

That's Your Problem Chef, Not Mine

Check this out my fellow banquet managers...
 
I called up my local SYSCO rep yesterday and placed an order for some gloves for my waiters.  You know, the white gloves they must wear when they are passing food during the cocktail hours.  No big deal.

Then around 3 hours later, I get a phone call from the chef bitching about how he "can't order anything now" due to cost cutting but I'm apparently allowed to order friggin gloves.  Hey buddy, that's not my problem.  Maybe if your food cost wasn't 39 percent, you'd be allowed to order more stuff.

Just gimme my damm gloves!

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Thursday, August 5, 2010

Things I Heard at The End of My Shift Yesterday - Part 2

"That bitch, hope she gets fired too!"
Said by one of the older waiters from our restaurant about the new pretty waitress that seems to get too many shifts.

"I think some more is coming in on Friday"
Said by my jerk beverage manager when I told him that there is no more Johnny Walker Black in the storeroom.
 
"Next week's bride is real nasty, watch out!"
Said by our catering coordinator during the BEO meeting when we were going over the upcoming events.

"I don't have enough men to get this all done"
Said by my head of Engineering when he saw all the work order tickets in his mailbox.
 



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