Stupid Things Your Waiter Says

Being in "the business" makes it hard for me to go out to eat.  I've written about that on this blog many times before.  I just can't enjoy myself when I go out.  I'm always looking for ways that the restaurant, or my server/bartender, can do a better job.  But the one thing I can't stand is those corny, or just plain stupid, lines the damm waiter says when coming over to our table.  Here are just a few:

• How are you guys doing?  This line drives me nuts and I seem to get it all the time when I'm out to eat and not only with "the guys".
• Are you finished with that? No, do you still see my fork on the side of the plate and my napkin still on my lap?  When was the last time you peeked out from behind your service station to see what we were doing?
• Are you ready to order?  Well I guess since my menu is folded and placed on the side of the table, and it's been 12 minutes since you left, and I've been straining my neck to see where the hell you are and if you are coming back to take my order...that should be a sign that we are ready to order.
  

Why can't some restaurant manager finally teach these kid waiters how to properly, and professionally, speak with a customer?

And don't give me any of that "well, what do you expect from a waiter that gets paid only $2.49 an hour" or some other shit like that"!

Well. I'm waiting your comments to tell me I'm wrong...'cause I'm not!

Related Posts:

• Tip That Waitress

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These New Wedding Cakes SUCK!

A few weeks ago, our chef signed a contract with another bakery to provide us with our wedding cakes.  Ok, no big deal.  Stuff like that happens all the time where the chef will find another vendor to provide us with a similar product.

There's only 2 problems with this:

1. Why sign a 1 year contract?  What if we aren't happy with the vendor or it's product, are we stuck with them for the entire year?
2. THE WEDDING CAKES SUCK BIG TIME!

The first cake we got was dry.  The second had these large dowels inside for support that made if almost impossible to remove them without splitting the cake in 4 pieces.

Plus the vendor didn't even deliver the cake in a box for protection.  They just drove up and slid this cake outta a pick-up and carried it into the kitchen and dropped it on the counter.

The last straw came this past weekend when we cut into the cake to see that it had almost a full inch of icing on top of the actual cake.  Sure the icing tasted great but where's the cake? 

After my captain cut about a third of the cake, my waiters were embarrassed to serve the shit for fear that the guests would think we were ripping them off! 

So now it's around 11:15pm and I'm back in my office sending an email to the chef, (he left around 10:30pm), to tell him he's got to kick this new company out and go back to our old vendor.  At least try to find someone else that can make a cake that didn't suck.


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• The Cake Had The Wrong Icing Color
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Things I Heard at The End of My Shift Yesterday - Part 3

"That bitch Laura better not screw me again tomorrow"

Said by a senior restaurant waiter complaining how the hostess didn't give her as many covers as the other waiters.

"You know, I can't stand working with Maria, she's fuc^*#@ lazy"
Said by Jose one of my banquet waiters.  Jose shouldn't talk too much shit.  He's lazy too.


"WTF! Why did BM put me on this shit party when you were on the wedding?"
Who the hell else should work the cheap-ass church group event?  The janitor?

"I'm calling out sick tomorrow"
Said by one of my other lazy waiters as he was coming out of the elevator.  I heard this and told him that if his ass wasn't here tomorrow, not only would I fire him but he will need to pull my size 12 shoe outta it too!

Related Stories:

• Things I Heard At The End of My Shift Yesterday - Part 2

 

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3 Weeks of Hell

You know, I've read many times that you're not supposed to write in your blog "Sorry I haven't written a post in a long time".  

That's because they don't want your readers to think you don't care enough about your blog to make frequent posts and that may turn off your readers.

Well, I guess they're not fu^#ing banquet managers!

We don't always have the friggin'  time to sit our butts down in front of the computer to write about our crappy days.

The last 3 weeks have been a bloody nightmare.  Every piss-ass bride drove me nuts.  Every bitch meeting planner in our state seemed to be here.  Every stupid 50th wedding anniversary or slutty sweet 16 was here.  There were 2 parties for guys that just up and died.  

I'm tired.  Tired of working 16 hour days and tired of listening to the guest's BS complaints.  Now I even got a Friday off and I'm relaxing. 

I write this post at 11:30am, I just got my ass outta bed.  My eyes are red, my feet ache and I've got a mountain of dirty suits that I need to take to the dry cleaners.  That'll be another $60 bill I can't afford.

Now I'm getting a text from one of my waiters.  Should I answer it back?

Yeah, sure!

 

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